From time to time, we all experience the odd bout of loneliness. Sometimes it can creep up on us during periods of change (like a move or the end of a relationship) and leave us feeling physically or emotionally distanced from other people. However, loneliness doesn’t just strike when we’re alone. It can be just as easy to feel lonely in a group of strangers, friends, family or in our workplace.
If I’m Lonely, does that mean I’m a Loner?
No. I want to clarify the difference between feeling lonely and being a loner. They are not the same. A person who is a loner, is quite content to be on their own. They do not have the same need or desire to communicate or be with others. They are not experiencing the feeling of loneliness.
Why Do I Feel Lonely?
There are many reasons why a person feels lonely. I’ve broken them down into 4 basic groups:
• Lack of Communication
You might have 1 or 2 close friends but you don’t trust them with your deepest thoughts or fears. It’s difficult to make new friends, and it takes time. Or perhaps one of your closest friend and confidante is your partner. Everything’s great unless that relationship ends. At which point you feel totally lost and lonely.
• Lack of Interaction
On Social Media it might say you have hundreds of ‘friends’, but do you? Can you trust them to keep your confidence on delicate matters? Do you trust them not to post your secrets to the world? You are still human and need personal, human contact. You need social interaction to be able to talk to others and build rapport.
• Lack of Feeling Loved
You might be in a relationship that’s doesn’t meet your needs emotionally, intellectually or physically any more. You may even be surrounded by the wrong people. Even Mother Teresa said loneliness comes from not feeling loved.
• Identity Crisis
With all that life throws at us throughout the years, you could end up feeling empty inside. You might feel uncomfortable with yourself, feeling lost at the core of who you are meant to be. You know something is missing. You feel disconnected, but you just can’t put your finger on it.
How Does Therapy Help?
Yes, therapy really does help reverse the feelings of loneliness. In our sessions together, my emphasis will be on discovering and understanding what is causing your loneliness and when and how it began. This will help you identify how your emotional state has impacted your life. Together we will address any negative feelings, patterns of thoughts, attitudes or inner dialogue, and transform them into positive healthy ones using specific techniques tailored to your needs. You’ll find your purpose in life, and discover the path you were meant to follow. You will feel connected once again. Loneliness will be a thing of the past because you will move forward into a life full of possibilities.